how’s it hanging beloveds?
here’s some things for my work in chaplaincy. i work managing the volunteers in our department and one of the things i see our volunteers struggle with the most is what kinds of things to say when interacting with a patient.
so here is a list of openers, middles, and closers. this list is not exhaustive. it is not intended to be rote memorized and regurgitated. it’s just a jumping off point to get the gears turning in the old noggin. i intend to update this periodically.
and this is for everyone – not just my volunteers. we all could use some work on our listening skills. hopefully this will help with that too.
[Last Updated 5/19/25]
Openers
⁃ “I’m here without an agenda to offer a presence.”
⁃ “I’m (Andrew), one of the chaplains, how are you?”
⁃ I can stay as long or as little as you would like, I’m not in a rush.
⁃ Could I sit down and keep company with you for a bit?
⁃ I’d love to provide a presence for you today.
Middle Stuff
⁃ Tell me more
⁃ Where do you feel that in your body?
⁃ What brings you hope?
⁃ How can I support you in moments like this?
⁃ How can I celebrate with you today?
⁃ How can I sit with you today?
⁃ How can I hold space for you today?
⁃ What would you like me to know about what’s going on?
⁃ I am curious about X and I would invite your curiosity too. Can you tell me more about X?
⁃ What I think I hear you saying is ….
⁃ What has been on your mind during this time?
⁃ I have no idea what that’s like, but it sounds really hard/painful/scary, etc
⁃ Take your time
⁃ That sucks
⁃ What matters most to you today? [whiteboards]
⁃ body noticing: I can’t help but to notice your tears, your looking away when you talk about your dad, your eyes soften when you talk about your grandma, etc.
⁃ How do you experience God in times like this?
⁃ What has been your feelings about God during your stay so far?
Closers
⁃ Thank you so much for allowing me to be with you.
⁃ How would you like to close our time together?
⁃ What can I do to end our visit together?
⁃ How can I leave this room better than I found it?
⁃ Could I gather our conversation up into a prayer as a way of closing?
