hey beloveds,
i am getting re-married on saturday.
so i have marriage on the brain.
and one of the things i have been thinking about is this: mutual submission.
i was raised in an environment that loved to remind wives to submit to their husbands, but seldom (if ever) reminded husbands to submit to their wives.
i now have several problems with this way of talking about marriage. i admit that i am divorced and i am not the guy to give advice out about marriage.
that’s not what i’m doing here. i’m just musing. i’m just working out my thoughts on paper.
this is essentially my journal/diary/field guide and you just get to read it dear beloved.
that being said, it appears to me that submission is to be mutual.
i do not believe in male headship.
i do not believe in one-sided (i would say lopsided) submission.
i believe in mutual submission and believe this is the Biblical ideal for a couple.
further, i believe that marriage can be between a man and a woman or between people of the same sex and mutual submission would still be applicable.
i won’t outline my biblical case for equality in marriage and egalitarian ideals – others have done excellent work in this regard.
i will say this: it makes sense right?
there are moments when i need to let her take the lead and i need to shut up, submit and follow her lead.
also, there are moments when i need to take the lead and she needs to follow my lead.
there may be situations where i lead and some where she leads.
there may be seasons where i tend to lead more and seasons where she tends to lead more.
there are certainly things that she is better suited to handle than i am. and vice versa.
this is what true partnership and kenegdo is.
it reminds me of a great poem that i mull over in my mind a lot. it is by Robert Frost and it is called “The Master Speed.” here it is:
No speed of wind or water rushing by
But you have speed far greater. You can climb
Back up a stream of radiance to the sky,
And back through history up the stream of time.
And you were given this swiftness, not for haste
Nor chiefly that you may go where you will,
But in the rush of everything to waste,
That you may have the power of standing still-
Off any still or moving thing you say.
Two such as you with such a master speed
Cannot be parted nor be swept away
From one another once you are agreed
That life is only life forevermore
Together wing to wing and oar to oar
wing to wing and oar to oar…. that’s mutual submission and partnership.
that’s what i am shooting for.
hope this helps,
a.
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